Such is the emotional rollercoaster I have climbed into. After twelve months and thirteen days, the verity of it all has finally sunken in. I am really going to France. And, I am leaving in less than three weeks.
Tonight, I sobbed as I held Ruth and Melissa in my arms. Our symphony of tears flowed down the side of our cheeks to the powerful melody of Tenth Avenue North's "By Your Side." We spoke silence; we cried pain; we breathed the sadness of "goodbye," even though we all knew it's just a "see-you-later."
Tell me if you find anything harder than bidding farewell to a beloved.
***
Two first-years, whom I adopted as my unofficial little sisters this semester, just gave me a mini-dictionary of quirky French expressions, entitled "D!rty French." And the quaint message on the first page:
"Dear Marianne,
Use this book DAILY!!
Have fun in France and we
hope you find a CUTE
french guy! :) We'll miss you!
Love,
Aim & Rachel"
A silver Cybershot camera recorded every smile, hug, laugh, kiss, flip through the book. They took turns to take pictures with me, of me; they kneeled down, bent over, leaned backwards to vary the angles; they laughed with me, hugged me, said they'd miss me. Is this how a celebrity feels?
Tell me if you find anything harder than treasuring life's most precious moments.
***
Tiffany, one of my dearest Wellesley sisters, shocks me often with her sudden outbursts of excitement: "We're going to France! We're going to France!"
Tell me if you find a way to make a tortoise giggle.
***
See, the irony of it all is that in the pursuit of happiness, I lost it. I fooled myself into thinking that my life was about Jesus, while all along Jesus knew that my life was still about me.
It's about time I pursued the source of happiness.
